Independence

Dear Insecure Boy,

For a year and a half, I was manipulated, trapped, frustrated, conflicted--miserable. For a year and a half, I thought I depended on you for my happiness. What a deranged thought since I cried just about every day. I was dependent on you, yeah, but not for happiness. I felt more secure in that known, predictable hell rather than breaking free and stepping out into an unknown heaven.

Answering your on-the-hour texts, asking permission to hang out with my friends, and listening to your accusations broke me down into a needy, submissive person--the type of person that I swore I’d never become. I didn’t talk to my best friend for four months, I constantly argued with my parents, and I ditched new college friends to spend every weekend with you. Alienated from family and friends, you became the sole priority in life.

You almost got me. Almost stole away who I was, who I wanted to be. You dragged me down into your dark hole of depression, and for a year and a half, I was buried just as deeply as you. But ultimately, I was stronger. Something clicked that day, you know which day, and I knew I didn’t deserve the humiliation, stress, and perpetual heartache. It was easier than I thought it would be, and I still kick myself for not breaking up with you sooner.

I no longer hate or resent you; I thank you. You helped me learn a valuable lesson in life. I will NEVER be dependent on a man for “happiness” again. I have amazing friends and family. I have hobbies and interests and love. I am self-reliant and capable of making my dreams come true. I ask nobody for permission to do what I want to do. First and foremost, I live for me.

Sincerely,

Independent Woman